21+ Adult Humor Facebook Status Updates Ideas Quotes and Likes

Facebook status or updates make the interaction interesting.Our collected Adult Humor Facebook status messages help to appear interesting so, make your fb status different from the others. 

  1. as i caress your firm roundness with my hands and press my face into your pink flesh your sweet juice runs down my face.(I LOVE WATERMELON!)
  2. Wife: Shall we try a different position tonight?Husband: Excellent idea Wife: U stand at sink, wash dishes, I will lie on sofa & watch TV =P
  3. I love how people think they r hot shit on a silver platter but they r nothing but a cold turd on a paper plate!
  4. If men believed in reincarnation they’d ask to come back as a spider, so they could hear a woman scream OMG LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT!
  5. Guy: Do you want to hear a joke about my penis? Nevermind…it’s too long! Girl: Do you want to hear a joke about my vagina? Nevermind…you’ll never get it!!!
  6. a man is helping his wife make a password for the computer. he types in MYPENIS. the wife starts laughing hysterically when it says ‘ sorry not long enough ‘
  7. Fortune Cookie: “Your life will be happy and peaceful.”Dear Cookie,What drugs are you on, we should share.
  8. What starts with F and ends with K and is full of excitement and squirts liquid out? A firetruck you dirty dirty person.
  9. Cover your stump before you hump. Before you attack his, wrap your whacker. You can’t go wrong, if you shield your dong
  10. no officer i am not naked, i have my shoe’s on..lol
  11. “why do people say grow some balls? Balls are weak and sensitive. People should say grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding!” -B
  12. little boy asked his dad,”What’s in between mommy’s legs?” The dad said,”A door and I have the key to it.” Little boy said,”Well your friend has the spare key”
  13. Sometimes… You just gotta treat life like a bad lay… Make funny faces and pretend you’re having a good time.
  14. Bought a CD of ice cream van music.Now I drive with the stereo on full blast, watching the disappointment on all the little kids faces
  15. *Girl opens gift on his birthday*girl: “shoes and a vibrator?”his boyfriend: “If you don’t like the shoes you can go fuck yourself!”
  16. Is as bored as a guy with no arms looking at porn
  17. The reason protesters target fur wearers rather than leather wearers is because it’s much safer to hassle little old ladies than it is bikers.
  18. attention to all those who want to f*** up my day can you please file in an orderly fashion. it will be easier for me to tell you to f*** off Thank you
  19. Great minds think alike but dirty minds work together 😉
  20. A guy walks into his new Psychiatrist’s office dressed in cling wrap. The DR. looks up at him and says, “Well sir, I can clearly see you’re nuts!”
  21. thinks face-book should add a big fat FUCK YOU button!
  22. What’s the difference between a friend & a best friend?
  23. A friend will bail you out of jail, a BEST friend will be sitting next 2 you saying “We f*cked up!”
  24. Movie stars walk on red carpets cause they’re famous. I walk on toilet paper cause I’m THE SHIT!!
  25. says is it inappropriate to tell knock-knock jokes to homeless people
  26. I love the way you taste when your warm, creamy, silkiness slips softly between my lips, warming every inch of my body. Perverts!! I’m speaking of my coffee!
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