450 Funny Facebook Status Updates Ideas Quotes and Likes

Looking for Funny Facebook Status then your search ends here, you have landed on the right page.Funny Facebook statuses are a great way to brighten up your social networking profile page.So Here’s a list of 400+ funny facebook status updates that you can copy and make as your new status update:

    1. You don’t have to like me, I’m not a facebook status!
    2. If money grew on trees, girls would be dating monkeys!
    3. Never make eye contact while eating a banana.
    4. I am not born to please people, So if you want to get pleased try me in next life…good luck!
    5.  Dear math: I am not a therapist, so solve your own problems.
    6. What do i do when i see someone EXTREMELY GORGEOUS? I stare, I smile and when i get tired i put the mirror down
    7. 4 out of 5 urologists smell an apple juice before they drink it.
    8. Girls spend the first 10 years of their lifes playing with barbies. The next 10 years of their lifes they try to look like one. (;
    9. How come Mario can smash through bricks, yet he dies when he touches a freakin turtle??
    10.  How much do I have to drink to get a mosquito drunk?
    11. Today I decided to burn calories so i turned fire on fat kids!!
    12.  I’m not saying you’re stupid; you just have bad luck when you’re thinking.
    13. I miss you like a retard misses the point!
    14. wanted to kill the sexiest person alive…but suicide’s a crime.
    15. I wish I had Doras parents… They let that girl go everywhere!
    16. I got all excited when my husband said he was taking somewhere expensive tonight. 10 minutes later we were at the gas station.
    17. “Super” Mario should so be a kid role model: “Heyy kids don’t be racist… I’m an Italian made by the Japanese I speak English I look like a Mexican and I run like a Jamaican!”
    18. Just finished my 6 minute upper body workout-it was pretty easy:arm down,pick up food,arm up,put food in mouth, switch arms.
    19. Ok Mario you can hit bricks with your head right? Then why do you die when you touch a turtle WTF! -.-
    20. A real man is a woman’s best friend. He will never let her down. He will comfort her after a bad day. He will inspire her to do things she never thought she could do. He will enable her to express her deepest emotions. He will enable her to be confident, sexy, seductive and invincible …No, wait. Sorry. I’m thinking of wine. It’s wine that does all that. Never mind.
    21.  When a lady had a nice time with a guy, she looks forward for the next moment and the guys looks forward for the next chick.
    22. I am proud of myself. I finished the puzzle in just 6 months while the box said 2 to 4 years.
    23.  they say you should pay taxes with a smile, I tried……. but they wanted cash.
    24. The awkward moment when you go to grab someone sexy and tell em hey and you run into the mirror!

Vishnu Agarwal

is a Aspiring Blogger from Ranchi Jharkhand , Who Love to Share and Post Useful and Valuable Information.